in my mind i know that God is all-knowing – omniscient. i know He is always present – omnipresent. i know he is all-powerful – omnipotent.
so why is it that when things happen in life, when the difficulties come, when the storms rise up . . . we call out, “God, are you asleep?” living by faith is not easy. it’s not like there is this on/off switch that i can flip on and flip off as i think i need it. just like during the storm in Mark 4, the disciples were afraid, they were terrified – – there are times when i am afraid, i am terrified. it’s time to raise my faith level.
fear and faith – are tied together. do i let this fear shut down my faith OR do i allow this fear to move my faith?
do i manage my life OR do i surrender my life?
manage – i think i’ve got the answers. i think i know how things should be, how they should play out. how many times in life i have tried to manage. manage my life and the lives of others. i put up walls instead of acknowledging that fear. i allowed that wall to get higher and higher. why? that wall shuts out the fear – the fears of the storms, the difficulties, the unknown, the hurts, the betrayals. i put that wall up to help me from feeling that way again. i didn’t allow Jesus to be anything for me. i didn’t allow Him to be my Everything. i was believing the lies of satan. satan, the enemy – – the one who comes to deceive and destroy. what a waste of precious time.
surrender – during such a time, i knew i could not, i should not manage my life. a time when i knew that He, the One whom i have known since i was a very young girl, was breaking me. breaking me to surrender what seemed like a hopeless situation. breaking me for restoration, for redemption. breaking me free of the lies that were being whispered into my mind and my heart. breaking the wall down that i had so strategically built around myself. it was time to come home. it was time to surrender. it was time to really know who my Jesus is and who i am in Christ.
the storms of life aren’t going to stop. the walk of faith is not easy. do i still try to manage? yes, sometimes i do still find myself wanting Jesus to manage me from the outside in, but the more i know Him, the more He calms me from the inside out.
i surrender – daily.