Category Archives: anger

praying for blessings

blessings as tears .001

Seems life has been like riding a rollercoaster the last few months.
Up . . . Down . . . Twists . . . Turns . . . Upside-down . . . then, right side-up.
Catch my breath . . . then hold on for the ride.
I pray.  I continue to pray for
peace . . . comfort . . . healing . . . clarity . . . relationships . . . restoration . . . fear to leave . . . understanding . . . patience
  . . . protection . . . suffering to cease . . . 
I know God hears each word I’ve spoken . . . But today, my heart asks . . .But what tone does God hear in your voice?

Does He hear the same tones that I hear in the voices of others?
The tone in my own voice as I speak?
You know the ones that fuel all the negative emotions.
Of course, He does.
He hears the discontent . . . grumbling . . . complaining . . . whining . . . disappointment . . . self-righteousness . . . 
anger . . . muttering . . . indignation . . . displeasure . . . doubt . . . betrayal
I know He hears each word  and that He knows my every need . . .
and today, He reminded me that often times I let my fear take the joy away.
So today, I’m not white-knuckled or feeling my stomach in my throat, or letting out a blood curdling scream as I ride the rollercoaster.  This time, I am facing those fears that want to steal the joy away from me and seeing the trials as Mercy in disguise.
Blessings
by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise


stay alert

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“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8 (NLT)

It happens when I least expect it.

The room is filled with smiles and laughter as friends come together. Each one brings uniqueness to the mix. Lively chatter is flowing around. Yet, there’s something unsure looming in the air. And then it happens.

Or maybe it is a smaller gathering, just a few people around. Someone says something that strikes a chord, uses a similar tone, or a personality quirk continually surfaces. And then it happens.

Or maybe it’s in a personal conversation. A friend or a loved one is sharing a hurtful experience, asking for wise counsel. And then it happens.

What happened . . . ?

Minutes before, my heart was full of joy, and then I seem to be swallowed up by a torrent of hurt, painful reminders, a raging sea of confused emotions. Sometimes anger seems to well up and simmer inside me.  And when I see this happening in my life, I ask, how do these things happen to me?

So I pray.

On the surface, I’m sure these thoughts seem silly to others, and yes, at times, even ridiculous to me. I ask, am I allowing these outside coincidences to inflict such emotion in me?

And so I pray. I pray and I wait. I go to the One who knows my heart. I go to One who knows me better than I know myself.

In that place, I am reminded there is someone else who waits. Someone else lying in wait, hiding around the corner, prowling around looking for those places in my heart where there has been hurt and rejection. My great enemy, the devil, is waiting. Waiting for the chance to swoop in and hijack my emotions. He is looking for any opportunity to trip me up, to cause me to stumble, to fall back into the emotional wreck of the past.

The enemy scouts around like a roaring lion, prowling, looking for the perfect opportunity

  • To resurface hurts caused by another through the personality of someone who crosses my path.
  • To remind me of past mistakes.
  • To rub me wrong causing division or discontent.

holding back nothing to get into my mind and my heart.

So I pray to be alert, asking for supernatural protection of those places when I see those red flags, detection of the enemy.

Alert. I can only be alert when I daily pour myself into the Truth that I am loved and adored and pursued by The One who loves me. I must trust Him to be the cushion, to be the distance, to be His Perfect Love in my heart.

So when the enemy comes with rejection or hurts or disappointments {which I know are going to come}, my heart and my mind will be less vulnerable to the sea of offense.

 


forgiveness {laying down my right to be right}

CS Lewis_forgiveness.001

  Forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.  Above all, put on love—the perfect bond of unity.
Colossians 3: 13-14

But I’m in the right .  . .

He owes me the apology.  I didn’t start this . . .

She had it coming.  It’ll be a long time before I speak to her again . . .

Sound familiar?

 

When I read the following from a piece by Joe Dallas the other day, the comments started the replay button in my head.

When I’m at my most childish, I mentally line up the people who’ve hurt me, order them to face the wall, then fire off a few rounds. They had it coming. They shot their mouths off one too many times, or they broke my heart, or they didn’t return my calls. Whatever – their sins vary, from the kindergarten teacher who kept me after school to the close friend who betrayed me and never apologized. Sentencing them feels powerful; executing them feels omnipotent.

No wonder so many of us have such a hard time forgiving! Grudges endow us with a false sense of strength. We feel a surge of adrenaline when we’re self-righteously looking down at someone else’s sin, the false power of the Unforgiving lording it over the Unforgiven. But it’s crippling as well. It exempts us from God’s forgiveness, since Jesus made it clear our Heavenly Father withholds grace from those who withhold it from others, and it keeps us forever feeling like victims when we remember the wrongs others have done us, then mentally exact our revenge.

I think C.S. Lewis had it right.  Forgiveness sounds like a really good thing, the right thing to do – until I’m the one who has to do the forgiving. And then it can be a difficult thing to do, especially when the source is someone who close – at home, in the family, at church, at work.

And then I look up at the Cross. Forgiving Grace and Mercy looks down at me with His shed blood.  And I think of the words and actions that have hurt me, the BIG and the small.

I have choices to make.  Do I stuff the feelings down deep inside my heart, carrying them around only to let them fester?  Do I take it out on others around me?  Do I shut down emotionally?  Do I . . .?

~ OR ~

Do I follow in obedience . . . and forgive?

Forgiveness  – I lay down my right to be right.

Forgiveness  – I look at the other person through the lens of grace.

ForgivenessI lay down the olive branch and forgive {even if it’s just between God and me} instead of becoming the victim of my hurt.

Forgiveness –  I don’t keep an account.  I don’t keep score.  God is the Final Judge, not me.


sticks and stones

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

As a little girl, this little rhyme was my defense I’d use when someone would occasionally say something mean and hurtful to me. Sadly the words did hurt, no matter how many times I would say that rhyme over and over out loud and in my head. Even sadder, I took that little rhyme with me as a young woman only then to feel the scars of hurtful words. 

There is such power in words.

Words can bless, encourage, build up, comfort, make us smile.

Or words can wound, cutting straight to the heart just like a piercing sword.

There is one who speaks rashly,
like a piercing sword;
but the tongue of the wise brings healing  ~ Proverbs 12:18

Today, the woman in me remembers the deep wounds from words over the years.
Believing words spoken so rashly about her, at her, towards her, over her.  And that little girl in me fights that familiar rhyme and begging me to come back with my own retort.

And so as I think of my own scars, I need to also think about my words, my bent toward some quick-witted responses. Instead of coming back with my own slew of words, I’m learning to yield . . .

Yield to the Spirit, asking Him to help me.

Help me to watch my words as I speak.

Help me to watch my words as I reply.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Ephesians 4:29


a mess of yellow jackets

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I heard the buzzing noise, but wasn’t real sure where it was coming from.  But I knew, I didn’t want to intentionally make “it” mad at me.  Peeking through the branches of the young oak tree, I discovered this nest of busy yellow-jackets.  At the time I figured I had two choices of what to do.  I could either find something to swing at the nest, knocking it down and angering up a mess of yellow-jackets, and probably experiencing their wrath . . . OR . . . I could respectfully walk away for now.

Would these insects have a right to be angry with me?  Absolutely, I threatened their world.  I frustrated their plans.  They would lose something vital.  Maybe somebody had messed with them before.  So much so, that they would use their stingers to take their wrath out on me.

And in everyday situations I’m often faced with another angry mess of yellow jackets.

  • Frustration.  At work, with people, and life – why can’t these people get it right?
  • Disappointment. My expectations of myself or others can often let me down.
  • Rejection. It hurts to be ignored, overlooked, snubbed by someone close, an acquaintance, or a group.
  • Fear.  Could I lose someone or something cherished?
  • Threatened.  Why doesn’t my life look like everybody else’s Instagram or Facebook?
  • Past hurts.  Regrets, remorse, old wounds can make anger simmer like a crockpot.

Step in . . . emotion.  Anger. Don’t I have a right to be angry?   Surely I’m justified to feel this way. After all.  Isn’t it someone else’s fault that I’m feeling this emotion?  It might be.  Or . . .  as much as I don’t want to admit, it just might be me.

But whichever side of the fence I’m on, it’s my emotion and I’ve got to own it.

I know what The Word, His Truth says . . . commands . . .

A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh words stirs up anger

but . . .

Do I give into the dANGER of a mess of yellow jackets?


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